Vomit-worthy wedding vows
Suzanne draws attention to these ghastly sample wedding vows, and rightly lambasts their ideological patriarchy. (Intriguingly though, their minor adaptation of the traditional vows omits the words worship and obey for the man’s and woman’s vows respectively, which is at odds with the blatant sexism of the rest.) I simply wonder how anyone in their right mind could actually think these were good wedding vows.
“According to Ephesians 5 and with His enabling power, I promise … ” is a wildly inappropriate register for the context (and bad grammar), but it’s nothing compared to this:
{N} we read in Genesis, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife,” and in Proverbs “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.” He has ordained that the husband be the head of the wife. He instructs me, as the one who will be your husband, to love you as Christ loves the Church. It is my desire and delight to follow this scriptural teaching.
It’s almost as if the bloke is casting around for a way to obey this biblical pastiche, and happens to stumble across the woman standing next to him. “Oh, look, what a coincidence to find you here at the church just as I was wondering how to obey this marriage teaching of my pastor’s. Would you care to help me out?”
Mind you, some of the woman’s vows are just as grim: “On this special day, _____, I am reminded of the verse James 1:17″ Yeah, that’s what they all say. It’s amazing how often that old romantic James just springs to mind at the altar.
Leaving aside all the theological reasons for tearing most of these vows to shreds (and there are many) you just have to wonder that anyone could be so up their own ideological arse to think these are in any way appropriate to the occasion.
January 19th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
These vows are the product of the NET Bible folks. This is why don’t recommend their Bible, that and Junia. It is a systematic attack on women thinly veiled with an interest in manuscripts and text criticism.
I was, at one time, interested in text crit. but I can’t associate with people who compose wedding vows like that, write papers on Biblical gynecology and research Greek grammar for the sake of things like demoting Junia. It makes me feel dirty and smutty, but I know a lot of folks who think that seminary is really something.
January 20th, 2008 at 3:25 am
Wow, these are hilarious! I’d love to hear their bedroom talk on the wedding night:
HUSBAND: Oh baby, you remind me of St Paul’s words in 1 Cor. 7:3, “the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” So I’ll do my duty tonight…
WIFE: (Moaning softly) And the apostle also says, in 1 Cor. 7:4, “the wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.” Therefore I have left my father and mother, and I’m cleaving to you as one flesh.
HUSBAND: Mmmm, I love it when you talk that way….
January 24th, 2008 at 12:18 am
I don’t see the problem in a wife vowing that she will allow her husband to “perform his headship” over her and she will submit to his headship. That would mean that any time I wanted to do anything, I would ask my husband and do what he said and anything that went wrong would therefore be totally and utterly his fault. I would bear no responsibility for bad decisions about parenting, money, career, anything. It would all be his problem. No guilt. Unfortunately, he had worked this one out when we were looking at marriage vows 24 years ago, so we simply promised to love, honour and cherish each other and I have to take responsibility for the results of my actions and decisions. OTOH, we do get to exercise our particular gifts appropriately and I do get to use my mind, so (removing tongue from cheek) I totally agree about the vomit-worthiness and theological dubiousness of the vows. And as a female minister, I can also attest to the horrific abuse that has been justified in the name of this kind of understanding of the bible.