MetaCatholic

It gets harder every year to be sure which stories are April Fools and which are just the world gone mad. Here are some you may have missed.

The new Biblical Studies Carnival

A new Bible translation

Plastic surgery for David in Biblical film

New job, new house, and catholic conversion thrown in

The Gospel according to Brian: major new discovery

Garage-band loops to embarrass the king’s wife

Mac versus PC gets serious

It’s not so much that the “fools” are cleverly done, though many are, but that the real stories are quite insane. The BBC has a list of things that ought to be April Fools, but turn out to be quite genuine. What about this one?

A new pay-per-view funeral service scheme is being launched today. The Daily Mail says the scheme at Southampton Crematorium allows mourners to grieve from home by watching proceedings online.

If you must catch one spoof, watch this. (If the link to the iPlayer doesn’t work from here, you can access it from the previous BBC link.

It could be a little early to tell whether there’s any substance to some of the rumours swirling around the Church of England, but it seems that Rowan Williams is indeed fed up with the impossible task of trying to unite the Anglican Communion. If this had been a straightforward retirement or resignation, however, it would probably have been announced by now.

But things are a bit more complicated. Showing a rather steelier side in private than public, Rowan is believed to think that the bishop of Rochester, Michael Nazir-Ali (probably the people’s favourite in his own eyes) would only get the job over his dead body. No, what has held things up, so my informants say, is a set of frantic negotiations behind the scene to see how all the complicated constitutional and legal niceties can be dealt with to allow things to be quietly stitched up behind the scenes. With Gordon Brown at No10 he knows he at least has a chance of a backroom deal done with a man who likes operating in secret and shows no liking for constitutional traditions.

The creative proposal that Rowan has come up with is a job swap between himself and Tom Wright. First, he would enjoy the role of scholar bishop in a see which has traditionally appointed them. Second, he sees Tom — a personal friend — as the acceptable and thoughtful face of conservative Christianity. Third, he thinks that Tom would stand no nonsense from anyone — often in error, but always Wright — and would have as good a chance of anyone of banging people’s heads together with a Bible. Fourth, of course, he knows that Tom likes going all over the world telling the pesky colonials what St Paul really means. And finally, he knows he and his family will settle happily (and stay) and be very welcome in Durham, where the graffiti in the gents’ loo in the cathedral currently says:

“What’s the difference between God and the Bishop of Durham?”
“God’s everywhere, and the bishop’s everywhere but here.”