Apr 01
Archbishop Tom Wright??
It could be a little early to tell whether there’s any substance to some of the rumours swirling around the Church of England, but it seems that Rowan Williams is indeed fed up with the impossible task of trying to unite the Anglican Communion. If this had been a straightforward retirement or resignation, however, it would probably have been announced by now.
But things are a bit more complicated. Showing a rather steelier side in private than public, Rowan is believed to think that the bishop of Rochester, Michael Nazir-Ali (probably the people’s favourite in his own eyes) would only get the job over his dead body. No, what has held things up, so my informants say, is a set of frantic negotiations behind the scene to see how all the complicated constitutional and legal niceties can be dealt with to allow things to be quietly stitched up behind the scenes. With Gordon Brown at No10 he knows he at least has a chance of a backroom deal done with a man who likes operating in secret and shows no liking for constitutional traditions.
The creative proposal that Rowan has come up with is a job swap between himself and Tom Wright. First, he would enjoy the role of scholar bishop in a see which has traditionally appointed them. Second, he sees Tom — a personal friend — as the acceptable and thoughtful face of conservative Christianity. Third, he thinks that Tom would stand no nonsense from anyone — often in error, but always Wright — and would have as good a chance of anyone of banging people’s heads together with a Bible. Fourth, of course, he knows that Tom likes going all over the world telling the pesky colonials what St Paul really means. And finally, he knows he and his family will settle happily (and stay) and be very welcome in Durham, where the graffiti in the gents’ loo in the cathedral currently says:
“What’s the difference between God and the Bishop of Durham?”
“God’s everywhere, and the bishop’s everywhere but here.”
April 1st, 2008 at 12:05 am
PS: Oh, and by the way, it’s the morning of April 1st here in England.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:21 am
Ha ha; you had me going for a minute. Excellent stuff. (Sorry I’ve not got back to you on your earlier email; I’ve not had a moment and am v. behind with correspondence).
April 1st, 2008 at 12:54 am
[...] most profoundly twisted and disturbing suggestion ever made in the entire history of all humanity. Archbishop Wright… Ghastly. Well played, [...]
April 1st, 2008 at 1:09 am
You do know that by the end of the week this will be getting reported as “fact”?
Very funny!
April 1st, 2008 at 7:36 am
Brilliant! I don’t think I’ll even try.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:09 am
[...] It’s the 1st of April today and there’s a great post to mark the occassion by Metacatholic. [...]
April 1st, 2008 at 8:49 am
An outrage! That pipsqueak could never fill my shoes. And he’s a terrible dresser.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:10 pm
[...] News in the Anglican Church!! A new archbishop? Click here to find the latest in the drama. (Change could be in the [...]
April 1st, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Doug,
I confess that you got me on that one. But I got my wife a good one this morning. I ran upstairs and woke her up and told her that her mother had just phoned and told me that her seventeen year old sister had just eloped to Sydney with her 19 year old boyfriend. Suffice to say she woke up abruptly and was sufficiently annoyed when I smiled and said, “April Fool!”
April 1st, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Doug, you are a very naughty boy…!
April 1st, 2008 at 6:34 pm
What wonderful news! If it’s true. But would Rowan really do anything as politically sensible as that?
April 2nd, 2008 at 11:23 am
[...] Wright to replace Rowan Williams as [...]
April 2nd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
[...] Wright to replace Rowan Williams as [...]
April 14th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
[...] of the Anglican churches as a whole.I read on a blog somewhere recently (and not just at Doug’s April Fool - don’t take my comment there seriously) that Rowan Williams should be replaced as Archbishop [...]
July 29th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
[...] Doug Chaplin is the first with the news that NT Wright will soon be made an Archbishop. [...]